dearest 4

Hello, I am back here,

stuck with love song right now.
my day was so so tiring. law school is really unbearable for me. I get so tired even when thinking about it. life they said. I just live my life. nothing to blame on. I am ok. but just OK.
I hope you can send me some prayer so I can get stronger day by day, years by years. true what the old people said, life is not easy girl, it was so lucky being a child. but that is was. not now.

sayang,
you know what. something really burdening myself now. at this right moment, I have messed up my mind with a man. a man that I used to know as a good man changed drastically to someone who I was not expected him to be. he used to be so cheesy with me. we texted after 12. send morning wishes. ask about how was our day and we nearly went for a run competition together. that was so near man. looking back at how our relationship went, I felt he was so special. it kind of feeling where you cannot resist even when your mind said: "no and please just don't". but I really can't get over him as I always wished that I could text him every single day and make him mine. but obviously, i was not meant to be with him. god sent me his sign earlier.
too glad my feeling doesn't get far, my parents' instinct were so strong they discovered about our friendship & walla! we are not in contact anymore. he is just part of my history. my strong steel heart getting tougher slowly. for sure soon i will meet him anywhere here but the situation won't be the same anymore, no matter what.

I get stronger with the history. I learn from it. I call myself as 'the one who keeps learning and trying not to forget the good behind every story'.

sayang, I love you & always
it just matter of time and spaces