Future Behold

 LOVE AND HOW IT GOES

    I always dream of the time when love will drive me forward despite me and him being madly in love after marriage. The time we allowed and the seed of good deeds grow in each of our actions. The credit points we were given by God will motivate me to do my best in my relationship.

BUT LET'S GIVE THAT THOUGHT A PAUSE FOR AWHILE

    Take a view of the reality we live in now, love and kindness is not a weird thing to fall into number 11 or at least 10 in the top priority. How about the commitment. Taken for granted is a common term everyone can understand and relate to. The phrase we use to show were taken with less priority, seriousness and appreciation by the one we love. In short, an unrequited love. PATHETIC and waste of time. 

THEY SAY "LOVE IS A GAMBLE" 

    But for me, love is something that goes both ways while gamble is one-way hope (no casino hoping you to win). Love should always be seed in every day and grow what buried and potentials that shy to show off themselves. Saying it a gamble, kinda show we do not take it seriously for the future together. A selfish mode of partnering can lead to marrying singles. 

RECIPROCAL LOVE- imagine that?

    Commitment issue is something that always mingles around in one wh once had broken-hearted. Something that sits in between to invest time and hope while afraid we might fail in the plan we made together. The issue where we might fall into the deep hole of the wrong direction in prioritizing the idea of what is urgent and important in our life. A hell of it might go South when we hope for the North. 

PLAN BUT NOT WORKING OUT

    Not everything in life will bring the best out of it, but something from the best we have given out will absolutely give the expected and unexpected. Life has always been in the hands of god. We cannot control life but we can always plan and give effort for it. Imagine, manifest and pray for the ideal life we want. Play along with the shortcomings and the opportunities, things will go North. That is the same idea we need to give in love and relationship. Human is a complex creature. God said, "I created you differently for you to know each other". That's the plan. The plan is to know your buddy and play and play your role. Forget what you afraid of even it is hard to do in some way. Life never is easy for anybody, but life can be fun when you know how to play the game.

LOVE will come in their way

    What you afraid of is the sign for you to grow the shit out of it. The misdirect your instinct tells you is the sign for you to take it and challenge yourself to try new things even they scare you. Love is a very beautiful word. So why we afraid to have it? 

If other people can have it why not us?

Life

     Life can be weird sometimes. We taught of competition since we were small, during the fertilization the competition is real. 

    Then as we born, we expected by our parents to be specific kind of person like the future is in the hold of their hands. 

    As we grow up, from elementary school to university, we taught of getting first place from other students and learning the same syllabus when everyone capabilities gifted differently. 

    Then the working world taught us to keep up with who is the best employment of the month. 

    Come into the world of marriage where being a wife, mother and part of family-in-law, everything is judged based on our performance in doing the best and get compared by the people around us.

    With all those competitions, who we are at the end?

    We all advocate on being a productive, strategist and living with a healthy mindset but do we really living that life when everything is so competitive and in rush. Do we really enjoying life by living the life or we just do what everyone does to living life? 

    Leaving the question unanswered, the meaning of life is meaningful when we live it from our life interpretation and not from what others opinion on it. If we understand and believe that not having a child after marriage makes us live the bulletproof life, do that free willingly. If we think living life with a very simple lifestyle makes us more content and grounded, make it real and don't compare with them who live life lavishly. 

    Living life from eagle eye

    Don't battle life from the bottom point of view. Live it from the eagle eyes. See life from wider and broader point of view. Tackle life from different ways and see how it sway.

    Contemplating it whether we should live life from what others think is ideal might not be the ideal lifestyle for us. Remember to live life peacefully and you will feel the actual meaning and connection with the creator, life and us. 

The Shining Amour

 

Shining amours have their best shield and sword. Looking forward to the best enemies on the battlefield to fight making the war worth it. After the fight, they celebrate it with joy and vain. The satisfaction of winning pleasure impacts their name around the fighter. Next time the battle comes around again, their name left a huge mark inside the enemies’ memories, deep-coming scars coming with a wake-up call they knew but still heading for it. Things people do for name and legacy. Winners will leave a huge history and marks in everyone head.

            I taught life as a battlefield since I was small. I was born into a conservative family. Dad is a doctor and mom is a house mom who working with dad at the same time. As a firstborn to 2 other younger brothers, I was expected to be a high achiever since I was small. Sent to a religious kindergarten and religious high school. I like how the religious thought stays with me. I love how the devotion to god was molded inside to me having a sincere thought of god and the universe around. But living in with conservative mindset parent it was hard to reach the point of satisfaction obedient child. I am never obedient in the eyes of my parents. The everyday moment I know I will never be enough for both of my parents; I start to hate myself slowly.  Despite the strong traditional culture, I am having until now, I was exposed by them to Barbie and other western cartoon culture. Surprisingly to them, the expose I had is not just a mere exposure, I was a girl who creates her passion through the western mind. I love arts, music, and fashion. Something that anybody who is conservative would call a disgrace. Nevertheless, I am still proud and keep going with my own natural passion.

            Gladly, my dad raised me with a good secondary education. I was exposed to good English knowledge since I was small. I can understand English when I was 6 years old in a household that speaks Malay the whole time. Having an asian tiger mom was stressful even until now we never stop fighting over small things. I hate her intonation of speak to us siblings and even had spoken to her about this but I know there is not a second of time she will ever change that for us. I am a person who is silent as to how my parents thought me to. Self-taught of less self-expression heartless and laid-back. Answering back ourselves to clear things up is disobedient. Other than continuous small fights, she always comments on my body shape. Sounds so negative. As thought by my religious teacher, we should always obey our parents unless it is something that against the religion. Everyone is well taught of it, but my question is do every action of parents is permissible without taking children’s emotion and physical well-being into thought.

            Growing up with bags of high expectation from parents on my shoulder, I know the time I were sent to Law school is the step I consensually willing to receive a bunch more hardships. Law school is never easy but at least something enjoyable for me to work on. I learn a lot of cool stuff but I never aim for good grades because I know my head will create so much terrible inside. Over three years in my degree, I had built up huge anxiety and depression due to stress from uncontrolled coffee consumption, lack of sleep, and the endless fight with my mom. I always feel stuck in between. By that, I put aside any expectation towards myself because if I do that, I know I can never handle any of messes in my life. Impact of my action, I enjoy my degree despite average grades in every semester, I know I will do the best outside of law school soon. That surely coming out from a person who knows herself well. Applying and learning is a huge difference especially in winning the case inside the court. That is all on my passion which I know without it I will not find my purpose and will keep dwelling on hanging thoughts of ending my life because I hate for not having an emotionally supportive family in the context of caring about my emotional well-being.

This almost like saying, to make my family understand, worrying too much about my future will not bring me anywhere. To make them understand the years I have been living for is in their own bubbles. To make them understand that along the moment I stop explaining myself and let them win in every argument is the point I had given up my hope for them to be the ideal parents I wish they were. This shows how expectation upon someone will kill the natural growth of someone. As a young adult, I understand myself not having expectations of something I can never control and by learning that I have a good relationship with myself. Everyone is never perfect; we are just growing so do my parents and I hope they will understand this too.

            Talking about my struggles in law school, as everyone else has coping mechanisms when they feel demotivated, I also have things I do when facing hardship. For me, I will be binge-watching Kittendust and Gita Savitri on Youtube. They both are my favorite YouTuber from Indonesia. Interestingly Fathia Izzati and I have a common as a law student. She finished her studies at 25 years old which surprisingly again, I am 25 this year. But lucky for her, she finds fortune in her passion which is music but not –yet for me. Gita on the other hand is a very passionate Muslim feminist I ever knew in my generation. I love her openness and braveness she has when pointing out her opinions and ideas especially on women empowerment. She is my inspiration to start blogging when I was in the first year of my degree. They are a huge influencer in my life. Someone who I will look up forever when I feel down, more like two big sisters for me.

            Enough of my personal life experience, let us think about how most therapists would say to each of their clients. Fact that most of our adult traumas were created since our childhood dissatisfaction and pain. The way humans keep on bring this inside themselves is something we all need to take into action. The way patients keep carry on the unsettled issues from their past life somehow make the unhappy life events subconsciously happened. Something that theological ideas can help but also an evolution human being needs to accept. Parents who growing up in different generations from us might hardly accept this fact but as time showing itself, they need to understand that child is also growing in their own generation. Generation is never the same from one another. As to how their parents and our parents growing up. Following their rules sounds more pleasing but that only stops the inner battle but not solving the real issue we face.

            Looking at how gracefully the mind working, we lost our innocence but never the hope. Words that I love to tell myself from time to time for her to keep going and never stop because I was born in this world because I want to. I will not make a choice cutting my own lines just to end it blindly. Ending my own life is always the work of God never mine. I hope everyone who is reading this will understand. We all own our own shining amour, strong knight helping us on the battlefield. The power of God keeps us going no matter how hard life is. Telling ourselves that we are not going to continue this cycle towards our children and we are going to create new beliefs we comfortable with. Understands that everyone in this world is trying their best including ourselves and our parents. Mental health is a priority to keep us sane and unload other works, tasks, and responsibilities. Mind over matters is what we all aim for. Do not underestimate ourselves and our capabilities. Keep going on, reach the best version of ourselves, as people’s words will never kill us, our mind willpower is stronger than those outside threats.

            This is not personal story of my life but story of a girl who always walking on shattered glasses but choose not to give up. She hopes that anyone who reading this will get inspiration and continue on living their best life.

 

 

Plant Parents: Tips 101

 Hello from me again!

Lets talk about plants today!

Have you heard about becoming a plants parents?

As there is many types of plants we can choose from, as i am saying we can choose our own child here 😎😎😎😎 (hehe). But yes we can choose it and have a free willings to be parents to which one.

Catching on this trend, today we will talk about plants.

Plants???

If you guys not aware, there is varities of plants categorized into, indoors and outdoors, and different amount of sunlight they need. 

The most popular types of plants are the pothos, aglaonema, snake plants and succulents. 

pothos

snake plant

succulents 

aglaonema

The Sunlight

the plants that we choose needs different amount of sunlight based on their types. Basically:

1. full light

2. semi-light

3. full indoors

For newbies, here are few basic tips to understand before getting new plants:

1) Choosing plants

2) Pot must has drainage holes

- medium/small depends on the size of the plants

3) Knows the lights need 

- away

- direct

- semi direct (artificial light)

5)Watering

- do not overwater your plants

- put fingers into the soil 

- if you find ends of the leaves dry = less watered

- if you finds leaves droopy = overwater

droopy leaves ( overwatered)

dried ends leaves (less watered)

6) Fertilizer

- natural ( can get from eggshells. Sink them in water and take the soften eggshells put them onto the soils)

-synthetic (man made fertilizer. chemicals & inorganic substances) 

That is all for today's blog. Here i attached my written notes for plants tips. I hope i can help everyone to understand at least in a very simple understanding. Hope to see you soon!! 💋

source: picture: @pintrest, content: @kittendust 

why making them complicated

Hello peeps! I’m back here to RANT about why making things complicated when you can make them simple.

So, basically, things become complicated when you take it to the step of complicating things. It may be from the way of you thinking on certain kind of things or you overthink them. All of these, depending on how you react, making decision and conclusion.

Complicate things will take you nowhere, you will just make things from going straight to the destination making them going to many junctions to reach the destination. It makes the way you solve things into 10 steps rather than 1 steps only.

Most of the people think that making things complicated is how smart people think. But the reality is no. making things complicated is never the best thing, it is not only complicated yourself but also others. They don’t realize, how the impact making things complicated will change someone’s life. People will become stress, mad and not enjoy the process. It is not the best part of life. What the purpose you keep going on this life when in the whole process you keep on making things complicated.

Try to make it simple. Making things simple doesn’t mean you run from the reality, but you trying to react based on the reality. Choose the best way to react, to make decision, and to make conclusions.

Making and creating simple life and things, are the coolest thing on the earth.

CLASS 'A' GIRL

assalamualaikun pembaca semua!!

agak agak lama jugakkan saya x menulis di blog ni? biasalah sibuk bercuti sebelum masuk universiti. kalau dah masuk universiti nanti sibuk belajar pulakkan? apa khabar semua? harap semua diberkati oleh Allah S.W.T amiin.

di dalam entri hari ini sis ingin meluahkan apa yang terbuku di dalam hati terhadap tajuk kita iaitu "gadis kelas A". kalau biasa kita dengar pekataan kelas tu macam kelas kat sekolah tukan? bukan lah, harini kelas yang sis nak cerita ialah apa yang sis rasa disebalik maksud gadis kelas A.

kalau macam kat kelas kat sekolah tu gadis kelas A ialah gadis yang cantik, yang pandai, yang dikagumi dan macam macam lah. termasuklah ada yang jeles sebab budak budak kelas A ni sering dianggap pelajar harapan cikgu kat sekolah tukan. hmmmm, macam tulah kita kalau kat dunia luar ni. Gadis kelas A ni mestilah yang berketerampilan di luar. namun tidak semestinya perlu kelihatan menonjol hingga membawa fitnah.

daripada sis bercerita panjang lebar lebih baik sis pergi kepada apa yang sis rasa tentang gadis kelas A ni.. kalau sis tengok kat instagram tukan yang dianggap gadis kelas A ni mesti ada ramai follower, ada banyak likes, gambar semua cantik cantik sebab makeup semua macam retiss salah seorangnya ialah kendall jenner. hummm, tapi kan sis rasa semua tu tak penting kalau kat media sosial je kita nampak gah. kalau suruh buat kerja luar dari pada laman sosial dan internet banyak yang tak boleh. sebagai seorang yang betul betul berketampilan mestilah ada sikap sikap yang kukuh dalam diri masing masing, bukan untuk menunjuk kepada semua orang tapi untuk dikukuhkan dalam diri sendiri dan kesannya ialah orang yang melihat akan memandang kita sebagai gadis yang mempunyai karakter yang kuat dan berketerampilan.

selain itu, sis percaya yang gadis kelas A ni boleh dicontohi daripada kisah peribadi ikon wanita dan gadis semasa iaitu Vivy Yusof. you know what? i really adore this women. she has strong character behind and infront. kalau nak tahu lebih lanjut tentang Puan Vivy nih boleh lah tanya si MR.Google. hehehe. okaylah, sis rasa banyak pulak membebel harini. adios amigos ma valantine.

always remember,
stay young.stay positive.stay awake

Love Actually

assalamualaikum kepada para pembaca entri kali ini. minggu ini aku baru sahaja menamatkan short course aku di IIUM. setalah dua bulan menghadiri kelas di sana akhirnya aku berjaya menamatkan pengajian .. Yeahhhh! dan alhamdulillah pengajian di situ membuatkan aku lebih memahami bahasa inggeris dengan lebih mendalam. i think i should write in english in my future.. yeah plan to. insyaallah.

entri kali ini aku ingin cerita kan tentang cinta. haha. macam cintan cintun pulak kan? no way! i'm ain't kind of that person. haha LOL. apa yang aku ingin ceritakan ialah apa sebenarnya cinta yang dimaksudkan oleh aku. cinta itu universalkan?

cinta itu sifatnya suci dan mendamaikan. susah sebenarnya bila kita mahu mencari cinta seperti ini. kerana cinta ini hanya datang pada manusia yang benar benar mahu mencari cinta suci. #yedokkk? haha. yelah. cinta seperti ini sukar hadir pada manusia apatah lagi ada pada manusia yang hanya mencari cinta manusia SAHAJA. kerana cinta seperti itu hadir daripada Allah dan ada pada Allah. dia amat amat menyayangi hamba hambanya biarpun hambaNya itu muslim atau kafir. buktinya dia telah memberikan pelbagai jenis nikmat kepada semua umat manusia. biarpun hanya nikmat menghirup udara untuk bernafas. itu juga dikira sebagai nikmat kerana kita masih mampu meneruskan kehidupan. benar? Allah adalah kunci kebahagiaan cinta kita sesama manusia. percaya iu.

cinta seterusnya kepada kedua ibu bapa. saya percaya ketika kita kecik, ustazah dan ustaz selalu berpesan kepada kita berkat allah itu terletak pada berkat ibu bapa. ini kerana mereka telah mencuba sedaya mungkin untuk membesarkan kita dan disebalik itu juga ujian kesabaran dan kecekalan kepada mereka. saya percaya ibu bapa amat memainkan peranan penting dalam membesarkan dan mendidik anak anak. kainputih akan dicorakkan dengan pelbagai warna yang dilukiskan dan diilhamkan oleh ibu bapa. sebab itu, sebelum kita menjadi ibu bapa, kita mesti mempersiapkan diri dengan ilmu dan tawakkal kepada Allah atas segala yang bakal anak tempuhi ketika melalui zaman keibubapaan.

cinta kita juga boleh diberi kepada sahabat yang memberi manfaat kepada kita. seringkali saya melihat betapa ramainya yang berjaya kerana persahabatan dan gagal kerana persahabatan. penilaian terhadap seseorang dalam kita memilih sahabat yang baik tidak akan menjatuhkan maruah mereka, cuma kita yang harus bijak bagaimana kita meluangkan masa bersama mereka. kita tidak perlu menjadi sombong terhadap mereka yang kita rasa tidak begitu sesuai dengan kita. cukup dengan senyuman ikhlas dan sapaan ringkas. bagaimana saya lihat persahabatan amat mempengaruhi diri kita adalah, kita akan berubah mengikut perubahan umur dan zaman. kita akan lebih tertarik kepada mereka yang sebaya atau sekepala dengan kita. mereka adalah antara penarik untuk kita berubah mengikut apa yang kita rasa kita mahu buat atau yang kita rasa ianya betul. oleh itu, kita seharusnya bijak dalam pergaulan dan percaturan sesama mereka.

cinta seterusnya ialah cinta dalam keluarga. dunia kekeluargaan amat penting dalam kehidupan seorang manusia. keluarga seharusnya menjadi tulang belakang kepada ahlinya dan tidak seharusnya mereka mempunyai sifat iri hati, malas untuk bekerjasama, saling dengki sesama adik beradik atau berfikiran negatif sesama sendiri. kita perlu melihat pada perspektif yang lebih luas dan jelas terhadap kepentingan antara ahli keluarga ini. kita sepatutnya meluangkan masa dengan mereka sebagai pelaburan di masa hadapan.

saya percaya bahawasanya cinta yang sebenar tidak boleh dipaksa tetapi cinta yang sebenarnya perlu difahami dan dihayati oleh semua. Allah telah memberikan hati dan perasaan kepada hambNya untuk mereka merasai betapa indahnya cinta itu sekiranya mereka meletakkan ia di jalan yang sebenar dan yang diredhainya. insyaallah berjumpa lagi dientri yang lain. Da-Da!!!

stay young,stay positive, stay awake

cinta kelip kelip

assalamualaikum semua.

pertama sekali saya ucapkan terima kasih kepada yang sudi membaca entri saya kali ini.

kelip kelip ialah sejenis haiwan yang mengeluarkan cahaya pada waktu malam atau pada keadaan yang gelap atau malap. tindak balas kimia dalam badan mereka akan menghasilkan cahaya yang amt mereka. ini membuatkan kita manusia atau mana mana pemangsa akan tertarik pada mereka. kelip-kelip akan setia dengan kumpulan mereka dan keluarga mereka. jika mereka tersesat, mereka akan mendengar bunyian dari kumpulan asal mereka dan kembali ke tempat asal. kelip kelip ini amat bergantung kepada hutan paya bakau kerana pokok bakau merupakan habitat liar mereka. melihat kelip-kelip atau juga dikenali sebagai kundang kundang mengingatkan kita tentang kebesaran Allah s,w.t menciptakan binatang yang hanya 6mm panjang, kecil sahaja dengan kemampuan untuk mengeluarkan cahaya daripada badan mereka. Subahanallah.

kita sepatutnya bersyukur dengan kuniaan dan ciptaan yang allah telah berikan kepada kita. dia menciptakan sesuatu dengan tujuan. kita sebagai manusia seharusnya mengagumi dan menghayati ciptaan yang allah telah lakukan di muka bumi ini. manusia sering alpa dengan semua ini sedangkan mereka telah belajar semuanya semasa di sekolah rendah, pendidikan sivik dan sains. sebagai contoh, mereka yang rakus dengan kemewahan dunia sanggup meneroka hutan paya bakau ini yang bukan sahaja habitat asal si kecil kelip-kelip, namun juga sebagai pembantu dalam menyeimbangi ekosistem tuhan ini.

bagi mereka yang tertarik dengan kelip kelip terdapat beberapa tempat yang menarik untuk dikunjungi antaranya ialah ( http://www.mdks.gov.my/ms/pelawat/destinasi-menarik/kelip-kelip-kg-kuantan ) iaitu kelip-kelip kg.kuantan. ramai pelancong dari dalam dan luar negara yang berkunjung di sini. insyaallah pengalaman yang menarik akan diperolehi setelah berkunjung. waktu yang sesuai untuk berkunjung ialah pada waktu bulan tidak terang, selepas hujan dan 1-4 jam selepas matahari terbenam. what can i say is it worth give a visit there. happy visiting and embrace knowledge!!

semoga semua diberkati oleh Allah s.w.t. insyaallah.

stay young, stay positive. stay awake